Living Authentically: A Personal Look at Radical Candor

I first read Radical Candor by Kim Scott a few years ago, along with Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, and they have had such a profound impact on my life! I try to make time to read each of them once a year as a reminder and a call to action to live authentically, out loud, and to invite people to see me, know me, and help me grow. 

Radical Candor is written for bosses or managers, but I have never been either of those things and still found a wealth of practical, easily applicable steps for both my work and personal life. 

As a woman, I struggle with knowing how to be vulnerable without seeming weak and how to give feedback without being seen as mean. These things can be hard to do, and I don’t always get it right. This book has made me better, and I’m excited to introduce it to you all in the next few blog posts.  

First, a quick explanation of Radical Candor: it’s the combination of caring personally and challenging directly.

Caring personally is all about building connection. It’s not about knowing birthdays or the names of family members; it’s about doing things you already know how to do—getting to know what motivates your team in the context of work and in their personal lives. An example of this in practice is knowing how people want to be celebrated. Do they prefer public acknowledgment or a quiet moment of recognition? It’s a small thing, but doing this right makes people feel seen and known. 

Challenging directly means just that – giving feedback clearly and directly. The book says, 'It’s not mean, it’s clear!' Don’t sugarcoat or layer in insincere compliments to soften the blow; tell the unvarnished truth in as direct a way as possible. Challenging directly can be hard in the moment, but it is one of the most caring things you can do for another person. 

This doesn’t have to be a big to-do or perfectly thought out. In my own life, I’ve experienced this as simply as my best friend listening to me complain about something annoying that someone else had done. After listening, she said, “I know you love this person, and it’s okay to just vent, but you are in the relationships that you accept for yourself.” 

She floored me. She didn’t judge me for venting, acknowledged how I felt and that it’s okay to just vent, and then lovingly challenged me to decide if I needed to have a candid conversation with this other person about how I was feeling – and it only took her about 30 seconds! 

That’s what Radical Candor is all about: we all know we can’t avoid hard conversations. They need to be had from time to time, in and out of work – and this book will help you know how to start. 

I have read this book as part of book studies at two companies now, and we are currently reading it at PEOPLEIT. The thing I love most about doing this with a group like that is that you have a group of people who can go on the journey with you. They can help you practice radically candid feedback and support you on the journey. 

If this is something that interests you, keep an eye out for future blog posts and get yourself a copy of the book. I can’t recommend this book enough—it’s a super easy read and immediately applicable! 

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book: 'Your ability to build trusting, human connections with people will determine the quality of everything that follows.'